Compliment? You Call That A Compliment?
by Uzamaki Sasuke
Summary: Every time someone meets Sasuke, they always tell him how pretty he is. It annoys him to no end - until he meets a rather attractive blond new coworker who proceeds to not tell him he looks pretty, but instead that he looks like he could clean up a murder scene. What does that even mean? NARUSASU SASUNARU TEACHER AU ONE-SHOT COMPLETE Rated T for very slight language


COMPLEMENT? YOU CALL THAT A COMPLEMENT?

"Oh my God."

"I know!" Sakura whispered to the other woman.

"He is… wow, you told me, but I didn't -"

"I know, you never do! You never can!" Sakura hushedly exclaimed.

"You have to get me on a date with him."

"Oh, no, no," Sakura dismissed the request, "he's not interested - he never has been."

Sasuke was… annoyed. He usually was during days like these - Open House. These days were the days that not only would his coworkers compliment him, but the parents would openly ogle him, like, what kind of manners were those? Not the kind he would ever be interested in.

Sasuke continued through the hall to his classroom, taking extra care to give the fangirling woman beside Sakura a passing glance.

He would be lying if he claimed to not be content with the amount of attention he got. The Attention Whore™, if you would.

He entered his class to find… more women. Great.

Sasuke knew Sakura was messing with him when she hyped his looks up, but it could go too far - which, today, it had - but to make matters worse was that they seemed to think he looked better. Annoying in so many ways, mostly the fact that it was hard to get actual work done and progress made when the mothers were attempting to… coordinate schedules. Between him and their husbands. Why. Why were the husbands never there.

God must hate him.

* * *

"Good morning, class. Today is Tuesday, the 25th of October. I fully expect you to work to the full extent of your capabilities during class time and at home while working on your homework despite the fact that it is so close to Halloween, a holiday of which I have never cared about much, because that is what has and always will be expected of you. Any questions?" Sasuke turned to his class.

They never had any questions- their eyes usually just… glazed over. He considered toning down his speech patterns for a second (even the honors classes had a struggle - really, it was basic, what was the world coming to), but he quickly dismissed the thought as he turned to the board.

He lectured for maybe, what, two minutes, before he was interrupted.

"Mr. Uchiha."

Sasuke swiveled to look towards the people standing at the door.

"What, may I ask, is so important as to deem it necessary or even appropriate to disrupt my class? I'll have you know I won't put up with it, not even from you, Ms. Yamanaka."

Ino cleared her throat, "Mr. Uchiha, I felt it would be necessary for you to meet the new nurse, Ms. Hinata Hyuuga." She gestured to the woman standing next to her.

"...yes, I see. You may tell her that I still find it incredibly rude to interrupt my class just to meet me."

"...how old are you? You look much too young to be a teacher." Hinata asked.

"It's none of your business, now is it?" Sasuke asked, "I am obviously old enough to be a teacher because here I am, in front of my very own class, attempting to teach , whilst being rudely interrupted."

"Well… you look very young. You're very pretty."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched.

"Yes, how unfortunate for me. Now, do you mind?"

"Come now, Ms. Hyuuga, he's just a little irritable today."

"I'm a little irritable on a good day, Ms. Yamanaka, Ms. Hyuuga, don't forget that."

The two women left the room. Sasuke sighed.

"You know, you don't have to be a jackass all the time." Sasuke turned to his student.

"I am not taking your criticism at the moment." And with that, he walked up to the front again.

"Alright, as I was saying, in chapter 13 you will find that the recurring theme…."

* * *

Days passed. Sasuke hated this job more and more - not the students, not the course work, but the parents, and his coworkers, and everyone else that viewed him as eye candy. It didn't even make sense to him - they always praised the tall men, but he was, well, shorter than some - at a whopping 5'9, he was shorter than what they expected. They complimented the heavily muscled - or at least toned - men, but he was neither. Don't be mistaken - he could deliver quite the punch, could lift more than his weight, but his body most certainly did not give that information away.

He was intelligent, he could write well (or so he hoped - he was an English teacher, after all), he could be witty, he was fluent in many different languages, he was an artist, could play all sorts of instruments - but no. One. Cared.

He was pretty.

It hurt him. He liked the attention, but just… hoped. Hoped it would be because of something else.

"...and in the final chapter, we find out the true intentions of the murderer. The question posed to you is 'What parts of his backstory lead him to justify his actions the way he did -"

"Mr. Uchiha." Sasuke groaned inwardly.

"Yes, ? What is it this time?" He asked, his back turned to her.

"I wanted to introduce you to our newest coworker."

Why on EARTH were they hiring so many people at this time of year? The semester was almost over, there was almost nothing left to do, why the hel-

Sasuke turned to them, still ranting along in his head.

"And you found it necessary to -" Sasuke's words died.

By.

God.

The man approached Sasuke, who immediately stiffened in response to the other man's close proximity. The man, tall, blond, strong build, strange marks on his face - gorgeous. That was the word that came to Sasuke's mind - gorgeous. So… intimidating. He looked as though he were strong enough to break Sasuke in half, and yet, Sasuke found that the longer the man stood before him, the more willing - desperate, even - he became to let him.  
The man observed him with not ice cold, but warm, summer sky eyes, before said eyes settled on Sasuke's face.

Sasuke prepared himself. That compliment, always the same, always annoying, and yet… anticipation filled Sasuke's very being, just itching to hear it come from this man's lips.

He opened his mouth.

"You look like a man that knows how to clean up a murder scene."

Sasuke stood very still. The words were not computing, not processing within his head - what… what does that mean, even?

"Well, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the new Calculus teacher! I'm just right across the hall from you, so I figured, well, might as well warn you. I'm loud and obnoxious and people like me anyways so don't expect people to sympathise with you when you ultimately decide to hate me."

"Why would I - "

"Welp, sorry for the interruption, your lesson certainly sounded interesting, I guess. Bye!"

The walked out of the room. Sasuke stood still.

What the hell?

* * *

Naruto was loud, and obnoxious, and people did like him. Sasuke did not.

The man made no sense.

Sasuke had never found any sort of interest of the sort in any person he had ever seen or met. He found himself hating the fact that he had wished for people to see him for anything else, because this man apparently did, but for something else he didn't even know he had. Something he wasn't even aware of. It ticked him off to no end.

* * *

Sasuke was assigned lunch duty for the following two weeks. Standing there, having to choose between either listening to the eating students' rumors or the teachers', and he couldn't tell which was worse.

He stood in his chosen spot, watching over the cafeteria to make sure nothing drastic happened. Usually his stare was enough.

"Wow." Sasuke jumped upon hearing the voice beside him. He hadn't even noticed Naruto walk up to him.

"What?" Sasuke spit out in a rather annoyed tone.

"Your legs. You look like you could outrun a Cougar if you wanted to."

What?

"Naruto!" One of his coworkers called from across the cafeteria.

"Coming!" Naruto replied. He smacked Sasuke on the back in a lighthearted manner, "See ya, man."

What.

* * *

"You look like you grew like a tree. Really, you do."

Naruto was looking at Sasuke from beside him while they were both standing at their doors during passing period.

Why.

* * *

"Your arms could never pass as spaghetti. Trust me on this one."

Sasuke was passing out papers. Naruto walked into his room for some reason or another - the justification was lost on him as soon as the blond opened his mouth.

"Your eyes could've never been painted by Van Gogh."

They were comparing heights. Naruto (6'2) was most definitely taller than Sasuke (5'9), even when they weren't standing face to face as close as they were. He said this as he looked down into Sasuke's eyes.

* * *

Enough.

Sasuke had had enough.

He marched his way into Naruto's classroom, determined to find out why.

"Why do you keep insulting me?" The class looked at Sasuke, Naruto did so with a confused expression.

"What?" He asked. Sasuke grumbled.

"Why do you keep insulting me?" He asked incredulously, "What did I do?" He waved his arms.

Naruto appeared to be thinking.

"...oh." Something seemed to be ticking, "Oh. OH!" Naruto suddenly seemed as though he had solved some big mystery - Sasuke was upset because he had not yet.

"I wasn't insulting you - I was flirting with you. That would explain why you got all huffy."

"...that's flirting?" Either Sasuke was really out of touch with the world, or Naruto was awful at flirting.

"Well, yeah, what else would it be?"

"Um… insults, maybe?" Sasuke asked. "I look like a man who knows how to clean up a murder scene?"

"You seem like you have the capability to take a man down, kill him, and have the ability to clean up after yourself. Spark, knowledge, the ability to go through something and do it well - how is that not a compliment?"

"Uh…" Sasuke struggled to remember what else he had said, what other words had run through his mind throughout the nights "I look like I could outrun a Cougar if I wanted to."

"You've got some sexy legs, my friend," Naruto gestured towards said legs with the ruler in his hand, "very well developed. Didn't say Cheetah because that's just plain stupid." He laughed a bit.

Sasuke was still confused.

"I look like I grew like a tree."

"You look pretty solid, like it would take some effort to chop you down. You're kinda small, but very powerful - how can you not see that these are compliments?"

"My arms could never pass as spaghetti."

"Your arms are strong, they never seem to weaken. Says a lot about how much you've put up with and managed to make it through - I don't see how you don't -"

"My eyes could've never been painted by Van Gogh. Van Gogh is known for making some breathtaking paintings - isn't saying that my eyes aren't painted by him an insult?"

"No." Naruto scoffed, as if his answer were obvious, "I said they couldn't have been. I know his paintings are breathtaking - but your eyes are, far more in fact. He could've never made them."

They all were so… pretty, when he put them like that.

"...oh." Sasuke said quietly.

"Sorry about that, I guess I don't flirt like most. Besides," Naruto made his way over to Sasuke, "it wouldn't do you anywhere near the justice you deserve if I just settled on calling you pretty, would it have?"

Sasuke looked up at him.

"I don't… know. Not anymore." Sasuke looked down again. "I've only ever been pretty."

"That's ridiculous," Naruto used his ruler to tilt Sasuke's face up, "you've always been so much more - you just base your worth on what others tell you."

Sasuke felt that like a slap on the face - oh, how he hated when people told him he was pretty, but… that's really what he felt mattered, for some reason. And now…

"How about this - you stick with me," Naruto leaned in more, "and you can always know you're more than pretty."

Naruto's face in such close proximity to Sasuke's own made Sasuke's heart rate pick up. He quickly pushed the blond's face away.

"Not in front of the students." Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto laughed wholeheartedly.

"Never in front of the students." Naruto winked before turning back to his board.

Apparently Naruto was pretty damned good at flirting.

* * *

Days went by, weeks, months, soon a year.

Naruto and Sasuke were walking down the hallway towards the front door. Sasuke slowed as he walked by the large glass windows of the second floor - he always did this, he loved the view.

They slowed down to a stop before them. It was later, since the pair had spent much time that day grading the finals of the fall semester, so the sun was setting. Naruto's warm eyes watched Sasuke with such admiration and affection that it might have startled Sasuke if he had turned to notice.

"If I had to entrust my strings to any weaver, it would be you."

Sasuke turned to look at his - well, lover, at this point - with question in his eyes. He could still never decipher what the man meant when he said such things, but he always took great interest in what they meant. This one, however, was said with such tenderness.

"If anyone could make anything out of me, it would be you. And I'd choose you in a heartbeat. You're the only person I could trust with my heart strings."

Sasuke smiled softly.

"You should marry me."

Sasuke's eyes widened at the statement.

"Marry you?" Sasuke repeated.

"Yes, marry me. We'd make one kick-ass team, doncha think?"

"A team where time could only dream of being our enemy."

Naruto smiled.

"What does that mean?" He laughed softly.

"It could never, ever be death do us part. Time can't do jack shit."

Naruto laughed loudly once again.

"I love you." He hugged Sasuke to him. "But seriously," he whispered, "You should totally marry me."

He did. The only drawback to be found was that there were now two Mr. Uzumakis at the school, but that wasn't too bad. Naruto decided to go as Naruto, and Sasuke as Mr. Uzumaki. Nothing could touch them - nothing could take them down.

Their love was like a jellyfish, in all the good ways.

Jellyfish are essentially immortal. Their love is only ever like the brain lacking part of it occasionally.

It's a compliment, couldn't you tell?


End file.
